apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
