forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
love makes seman taste better
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize