We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
