so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
