he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
