U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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