We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
