why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
