I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
