..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
