he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
