To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just puked most of my soul out..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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