Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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