im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
