well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
