I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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