The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
