loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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