Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
