Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
