Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
