This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I enjoy the company of your penis
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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