Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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