i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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