So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
