so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
