im holly from the hills drunk
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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