He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
