If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
