Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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