you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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