I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
