can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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