i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
