U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
