some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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