i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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