So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He told me they were just razor bumps!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize