so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I cut my penus on the lid.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
