We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just gargled with NyQuil
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
