Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
