Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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