I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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