VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
