they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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