Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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