I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
