Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
