we have pet lesbian snakes
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
