her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
