if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
