What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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