Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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