Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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