Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
