We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
