there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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