yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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