i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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