i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
