My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize