I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
