If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize