Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
