Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
