i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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