I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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