She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
