he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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