You're completely useless in the revolution.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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