Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Say something about gay babies.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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