either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
