This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
